| So, i realize no one reads these things anymore....
but im writing anyway.
Oh, just read it.
I'm not gonna lie... the past few weeks has been hell for me. i never thought i'd ever fall so in love. I dont get how one person can change so much in such a short amount of time. And, when I think about it...it shouldnt have even happened! Which makes me think more...that God meant for me to be with this person. So, why... why would God allow me to fall so in love, allow me to make it thru some hard times, get so close with this person, fall harder than ever before.... just to get my heart ripped out? Don't get me wrong... I'm not blaming God for anything, I'm not mad at God. I just wanna know why. What was the point?! Why would he let me hurt so badly? I mean, it shouldnt have even happen...us meeting i mean. And IF I werent meant to 'fall in love' with this person, then why did i even meet him? Why did it last as long as it did? Why did we make it thru hard stuff? What was the point of all that, if it was just gonna end this way?!
I just dont understand. I don't get why i couldnt have just stayed home. One decision.. look where it got me. I dont understand, how you can change your feelings SO fast! How you can litterally fall out of love with someone over night. That right there...tells me it probably wasnt love on his part. Maybe he wasnt ready...maybe he couldnt handle it. But i know...without a single doubt in my mind, that it was love for me...and still is. I'm talking... would have done anything for this kid. Head over heals, crazy about him. It just doesnt make sense to me. Everything was soo good! I was soo happy! He was happy. Then, it was just a slap in the face. It went away. It's like he forgot everything we had. Like there was no history...like he never felt me. Boy does that hurt. I just wish I could go back in time...to our first kiss, or the first time we talked, when we held hands or when we laughed. I would stay in the moment forever. I know its probably time to let go...but i'm scared. All the memories...what am i gonna do with those???
This is from the Notebook...
I thought it fit pretty well.
**I don't know what to say anymore except that I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that it is over between us. It is a different feeling for me, one that I never expected, but looking back, I suppose it couldn't have ended any other way. You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better person because of it. I don't want you to ever forget that. I am not bitter because of what has happened. I am secure in knowing that what we had was real, and I am happy we were able to come together for even a short period of time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy, and remember how we spent those few months making memories of us, learning from each other and growing in love. And maybe, for a brief moment, you'll feel it too, and you'll smile back, and savor the memories we will always share together. I love you.**
I promise you... you'll never find anyone that loves as much as i do.
I just wanna feel you again...
Don't you remember any of it?
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